To Whom It May Concern:

Fantastic.

2008-05-09T01:53:11Z

Official photos for the GI Joe movie are up here. Now, aside from the fact that Snake Eyes is badass and the Baroness is hot, we also now know for certain that the movie will have Destro. Yes, he lacks the trademark mask. But that's good, because it lets you see who the actor is. It's Christopher Eccleston, people. He's been in lots of things, but I know and love him as the 9th Doctor. Yes. Destro is being played by Doctor Who. How cool is that?

No me gusta.

2008-05-06T00:32:23Z

Screw Cinco de Mayo.

And now I have Black Sabbath stuck in my head...

2008-05-02T20:18:22Z

There was some concern that they would ruin Iron Man. I am happy to say that those concerns need not...um...concern you. They failed to ruin Iron Man on a scale not seen since the first Spider-Man. Go see it.

Gernsback continuum.

2008-04-23T14:37:38Z

You all know how I feel about retro-futurism. Observe then these fine upper-body coverings.

As an aside, my birthday was last week. Just sayin'.

I could not make this up if I wanted to.

2008-04-21T15:01:12Z

Marvel Apes. Yes. Marvel characters, as monkeys. Why?

This is just brilliant.

2008-04-11T02:57:53Z

Back in 1991, HBO produced Cast a Deadly Spell, an amazing detective/horror movie set in a fictional 1940's where magic is real. It's somewhat reminiscent of the Harry Dresden books, but more noir. The execution is nearly as solid as the concept. You should watch it. It was never on VHS or DVD, but the internet contains a lot of unexpected things, including the entire movie.

The chosen beer.

2008-04-04T14:33:56Z

I found a kosher beer called (I kid you not) He'Brew. So I had to buy it. The Genesis Ale is actually pretty good. I'll be trying the Messiah Stout next.

No, really. The brewery has a website and everything.

Why do people think April Fool's jokes are funny?

2008-04-02T10:59:48Z

For this year's Botcon, they decided to do the mirror universe thing. Autobots are evil, Decepticons are the heroes, nothing is as it should be. Which is ~~sort of~~ horribly cliché. I mean, look at 'em. But then they put up a preview for the associated comic book, and there was much rejoicing. Everything is utterly ludicrous and brilliant, from Jazz sounding like Mr. T to Grimlock's snobbish British accent to the near-perfect recreation of the G2 art style...it's great. If you're going to do something as trite as a mirror universe, the only way to really get away with it is to go completely over the top and have some fun with it.

And then they revealed the whole thing as an April Fool's joke. Which means the actual comic will be nowhere near as awesome.

Great. Now I'm trendy.

2008-03-27T01:10:18Z

I have acquired a video iPod. Which of course means that I had to work out how to put video on the dang thing, because there's no point in having the capacity to play video if you don't, in fact, have any video to play. And, given the small screen size, video files are also correspondingly tiny. About 150-200 MB an hour, to be precise. I suppose I could go even smaller, but really, when you're talking about 150-200 hours of video in a space the size of a deck of cards, why be greedy?

Current contents:
1.8 GB of music
Indiana Jones trilogy
Transformers (new live-action, not 80's animated)
Chef! series 1
Monty Python's Flying Circus (3 episodes)

Future contents:
The rest of Monty Python (all of it. on merit. I have room)
Firefly (all of it)
Chef! series 2 and 3
Batman: The Animated Series (it's awesome)
Probably some other stuff. Not sure how much space that'll take up.

Also, I am going to put this on it. It's not video, but it's cool.

I don't want insomnia.

2008-03-24T10:37:06Z

Question: Why am I awake at 6:34 AM on my day off?

Answer: Because I woke up an hour ago out of a dead sleep and haven't been able to fall asleep again. I woke up at 8 AM yesterday. Why can't I sleep in anymore?

Theory: Perhaps I've become so used to not getting enough sleep that my body has become convinced that seven hours is sleeping in. Which would be great if I felt completely rested at the end of it. But I don't. I'm still tired, deep down. I just can't do anything about it.

Purple pants.

2008-03-13T12:50:02Z

It would appear that Hulk is actually going to do some smashing this time.

Give me my hour back.

2008-03-09T10:42:23Z

I hate daylight savings time.

Uwe Boll has lost it.

2008-03-07T13:54:31Z

Well, lost it more than he already did. See, he's releasing Postal against the new Indiana Jones movie. And he thinks he'll win. Here's a quote from him on why:

"Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the fuck the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!"

Now, I strongly suspect this is just the usual Uwe Boll publicity BS blarg stuff he usually does. But still...

I swear I am not making this up.

2008-02-26T16:43:11Z

Voytek was a Polish soldier during World War II. He liked to drink, smoke, and wrestle. He was instrumental in keeping his company supplied with ammunition during the battle for Monte Cassino. He was also a six foot tall, 500 pound brown bear. Seriously. Alcoholic, Nazi-fighting bear. It sounds like something out of some bizzare indie comic or SciFi Channel original movie. But it's true.

Super Mario World vs. The Many Worlds Theory of Quantum Physics

2008-02-23T22:32:56Z

That's the video creator's title, not mine. The full explanation can be found here. Short version: somebody made a Mario hack that has become known as "Asshole Mario World", presumably because it's so ridiculously hard that the creator had to be an asshole. This is every attempt (134 of them) this guy made to get through the first level, superimposed on one another.

Relativity.

2008-02-23T04:00:08Z

I have a print of M.C. Escher's Relativity hanging in my entry hallway. I absolutely love the man's work. His impossible perspectives excecuted so precisely that one thinks they might be possible, his tesselations and geometric transformations, it's all spectacular. So when I see that they're making a game based on the "physics" of M.C. Escher (or Oscar Reutersvärd, or Roger Penrose, if you want to get pedantic), I think that's just brilliant.
Take a look.

Tiny plastic fedora.

2008-02-21T04:52:00Z

I picked up one of the new LEGO Indiana Jones sets today. It's The Lost Tomb, which duplicates in tiny plastic bricks the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy, being much cleverer than his adversaries, digs in the right spot and finds the tomb where the Ark is buried. It's a very good diorama, especially considering the limitations of the medium. It even has action features, like the Anubis statues that can fall over to knock down sections of wall (with skeleton) or the lever that drops LEGO snakes. LEGO Indy hates snakes. It is one of the coolest building toys I have ever seen (the top prize goes to the huge Millenium Falcon, ridiculously expensive though it is). Given the quality of this set, I'm really considering picking up the Temple Escape, which is basically the entire opening scene from Raiders, complete with (among other things) giant rolling ball of death. If you're a fan of either LEGO or Indiana Jones, you should definitely pick up a set.

Oh. They're making a game out of this. The LEGO Group wants my money very much; I can tell.

As advertised.

2008-02-20T16:01:46Z

Arrow keys or WASD to move. You will probably swear at it.

The Wachowski Brothers have officially lost it.

2008-02-19T03:32:40Z

This looks as though it will be relentlessly godawful.

Ow, my wallet!

2008-02-18T02:02:38Z

This is the time of year that Toyfair happens. Which means it's the time of year that my wallet dreads most. That being said...new Transformers!

My highlights include: Galvatron (vehicle, robot), who is for once not a repaint of Megatron. He looks so much better than the G1 version, and if you disagree you are delusional. Speaking of Megatron, Animated Megatron (vehicle , robot) will kill you so much. I think his vehicle mode looks like the Osprey as concieved by Omni Consumer Products. Also, Soundwave (vehicle, robot) is nifty, though his head is strange. And the guitar turns into Laserbeak. Onslaught (vehicle, robot) has a brand new vehicle mode, and extra hate. Sadly, no other Combaticons for a new and improved Bruticus.

Yes, all of these are Decepticons. But the Autobots just aren't as awesome this year.

Oh yes.

2008-02-14T17:20:05Z

This is the trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Everybody put on your fedoras and start counting down the days.

Return of the Classics.

2008-01-30T01:58:33Z

Hasbro has posted pictures of the prototype stages of the Classics 2.0 line. All of these look absolutely fantastic, despite being unpainted. There's a lot of detail in the sculpting and they seem to be taking a new approach with the transformation schemes. I always think there's something clean about the all-grey prototypes, but I'm really looking forward to seeing the final color schemes.

...why is Powerglide an Ultra-class figure?

Four times the power...

2008-01-25T02:36:53Z

My new video card is now installed. Bioshock looks fantastic. The new card looks at it and says "is that all you've got?"

Now if only I actually had time to play games.

This is so brilliant it hurts

2008-01-21T16:44:27Z

Anyone who has spent any length of time browsing the internet knows that it represents a fair cross-section of the human race¹. This, unfortunately, includes people with...poorly expressed ideas. Ideas which are, for lack of a better word, stupid. Ideas which are communicated with poor grammar, or that near-indecipherable mixture of letters and random ASCII characters known as l33t. Wouldn't the internet be a better place² without all that rubbish? Well, StupidFilter thinks so. As their FAQ states, this is not a joke. They are actually attempting to build an open-source filter that, much in the same way you can recognize spam e-mail without actually reading it, parses gross prose style to determine the stupidity of a block of text. That's fantastic.

¹_{Or at least that part of the human race with access to the internet. QED}
²_{Inasmuch as a worldwide network of computers with little physical footprint can be referred to as a "place"}

Form over function...again.

2008-01-19T20:58:58Z

Apple has now released the latest in a line of questionable objects of technofetishism. I am speaking, of course, of the MacBook Air. Now, don't get me wrong, it's slick. It's so thin you wonder how they managed to get a computer in there. Well, let's examine that. The first thing they did was get rid of the optical drive. I mean, what do you keep on optical media anymore, right? Music, movies, files...data, right? Who uses data anymore, really? And while we're on that subject, who needs an ethernet connection? Free WiFi is just floating around for anybody to use anywhere they want, right? And hard disk space? Who uses that? 80 GB is more than enough for those high-resolution images and video files that Apple's core market uses so many of. Right? Right?

Seriously, Apple...what is with this thing? You sell a freakin' iPod with 160 GB of memory. And that's not a computer, it's just a wee little media player that doesn't have a full-size operating system that takes 9 GB minimum. Also, if you were serious about wireless connectivity, you would have included 3G wireless support, not just Bluetooth and WiFi. And why the devil does this thing come with reboot/reinstall discs when it doesn't, in fact, have a way for the computer to read them? This thing's a dumb terminal in a shiny package, and anyone who tells you otherwise would drink any Kool-Aid Steve Jobs told them to.